Showing posts with label mushrooms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mushrooms. Show all posts

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Shiitake Logs!!!

This past week I talked the whole family into helping me with a project.  The stars must have been aligned or something, because no one even complained.  This is especially remarkable because the project was setting up logs for growing shiitake mushrooms and I'm the only one in the family who likes them.  The kids won't even touch mushrooms.  


First, I marked the logs where I wanted the holes drilled- basically they just needed to be spaced apart in a diamond pattern.

Then Mike drilled the holes for me because he's the best partner ever.  They had to be 7/16 of an inch diameter and 1 inch deep to fit the little shiitake plugs.  

One of my sweet boys helped by pushing the plugs into the holes...until it was time to practice his instrument and play Wii! 

And now I just wait.  Once these are fully inoculated and start fruiting, they'll produce for at least 3 years.  Then the magical healing powers of the shiitakes will take over my body and I'll live forever!  Muahhhaaahhhaaa!

Note: I got the shiitake plugs from Field & Forest Products.  They were at The Organic Farming Conference teaching a workshop- How could I resist?    

Monday, February 22, 2010

Creamy Cashew Mushroom Soup

A few days ago I tweeted about homemade cream of mushroom soup and a few folks asked for the recipe.  So here it is!


Creamy Cashew Mushroom Soup
1 cup raw cashew pieces
1 clove garlic, minced
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
Hot water
1 Tbsp. Earth Balance margarine
15 button or cremini mushrooms, sliced
2 small yukon gold potatoes, thinly sliced and diced
1 quart water or unsweetened almond milk
1 bouillon cube
1 tsp. salt (or to taste)
Lots of coarsely ground black pepper

Put cashew pieces, garlic and lemon juice in a small cup (if you have an immersion blender) or blender.  Pour hot water over the cashews- just enough to cover.  Set aside for about 20 minutes or until water has cooled.

Heat Earth Balance in a large saucepan.  Add sliced mushrooms and saute until they are softened and release their juices.  Then add the potatoes and either broth or almond milk or a bit of both.  Drop in the bouillon cube.  Bring to a light simmer and simmer until potatoes are tender and bouillon is dissolved.

Retrieve your soaked cashews and puree the cashew/garlic/lemon mixture until very smooth.  This works best with a fancy-schmancy blender, but even my cheap one works okay with these quick-soaked cashews.
Then stir the pureed cashews into the mushroom soup and heat through.  It's best if you don't boil it after this point.  Add salt and coarsely ground black pepper to taste.  I recommend serving with toast or some crackers.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Curry Mushroom Soup

I was talking to my work buddy Nick (as I do pretty frequently most days) when he told me about a creamy mushroom soup he made last night. My ears misheard him, though, and the idea for my dinner was born. I heard "Curry Mushroom Soup".

This soup is extremely flavorful with ginger, curry paste, and cilantro. The texture is slightly creamy and, wow, is it filling. If you're gluten free, you could definitely sub some baked or fried tofu for the seitan- or just leave it out for a less filling soup. And you could serve this over rice to extend it further.

I know this is a lot of ingredients- But you really just throw it all in a pot and simmer a few minutes- it's not too complicated!

Curried Mushroom Soup
Serves 4

1 Tbsp. sesame oil
1 small onion, sliced
1 8 oz. package seitan (or homemade), in bite-sized pieces
2 inches ginger root, finely grated
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium carrots, sliced on the bias
2 medium potatoes, diced
About 10 large button mushrooms, sliced
4 green onions, sliced
1 tsp. cumin seed
1 tsp. ground coriander
1 tsp. sea salt
1-2 Tbsp. Patak's mild curry paste
Water
Unsweetened almond milk
1 cup coconut milk
Cilantro, for garnish

Heat a large soup pot over med-high heat. Add the onions and seitan and saute until both are beginning to brown. Then add the ginger, garlic, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, green onions, cumin, coriander, salt, and curry paste. Stir to combine. Add enough water and almond milk to cover the vegetables and seitan- Equal parts almond milk and water is what I used, but you could use all almond milk for a creamier soup. Simmer for about 10-15 minutes or until carrots and potatoes are tender. Then stir in the coconut milk and garnish with cilantro. Adjust to taste with salt and curry paste. Enjoy!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Waste not, Want not

Just like making almond milk leaves you with almond mash that is too good to throw away, cooking with shitaake mushrooms can leave you with tough little stems that need to be repurposed.

When I'm making soup with shitaake mushrooms, I don't like to include the stems because they can be pretty tough. I usually thow tasty little veggies like mushroom stems into my "broth bag" in the freezer to save for the next time I make broth, but now they have a better purpose.

Shitaake Mushroom Jerky!
I have to give all credit for this idea to a woman I've never met.  She's a friend of my coworker/friend Nick's partner Sarah.  She's traveling now, but can pass on recipe specifics when she returns.  

For now, all I know is that the mushroom stems are marinated in soy sauce, lots of ginger, garlic, and molasses.  Then they're dehydrated in a low-temperature oven.  

I probably ate a full cup of this jerky yesterday.  I'm convinced that if we all snacked on this instead of junk, no one would get cancer.  Just think of all the great nutritents in these little stems!  Plus, they're chewy, salty, and delicious!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Carmelized Onion, Morel, and Wild Rice Soup

A few weeks ago I made my first batch of broth.  I know, I know.  That's just inexcusable.  Who makes their own tofu, granola, miso, seitan, canned soups, and root beer but DOESN'T make their own broth?  That's just silly.

But since this broth was such a long time coming, I wanted to use it in a really special soup.  

I've also been saving up some dried morel mushrooms that my friend Sarah gave to me. She picked them up at the farmer's market in Redwing, MN.  The combination of vegetable broth and rich morel mushrooms just screams for carmelized onions!  And the wild rice makes this soup into something that'll fill you up for more than 15 minutes.


Carmelized Onion, Morel, and Wild Rice Soup

2 Tbsp. olive oil
6 medium onions, sliced thinly
1/2 cup dried morel mushrooms (or porcinis would be nice)
2 cups boiling water
1/4 cup uncooked wild rice
4 Tbsp. tamari
1/2 cup red wine
3 cups broth
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste


Heat a large, wide pan over medium heat.  Add the olive oil and the sliced onions.  Reduce heat to low and slowly cook, about 40 minutes or until onions are sweet, carmelized, and limp.

Meanwhile, boil 2 cups of water.  Pour 1 cup of the boiling water over the dried mushrooms in a little bowl.  Add the wild rice to the remaining boiling water and simmer, covered, for about 40 minutes or until rice is tender.

When the rice and onions are both done, add the wild rice to the onion pan.  Then add the tamari, red wine, and broth to deglaze the pan.  Drain the mushrooms, reserving the liquid.  Chop the mushrooms and add them to the soup.  Slowly pour the mushroom soaking liquid into the soup, letting any solids or grit remain behind.

Simmer for a few minutes to allow flavors to meld.  Then taste and adjust salt.  Add plenty of fresh ground black pepper and serve with crusty French bread!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Oh my, Oh mi. I love Banh Mi!

I had my first Banh Mi sandwich only a few weeks ago.  How I've lived my whole life without this amazing Vietnamese sandwich topped with pickled daikon, carrot, cilantro, jalapeno, & mayo is beyond me.

Traditional Banh Mi sandwiches are filled with anything from pork to liver pate to tofu.  And with all those amazing toppings, I'm not too picky about the protein...as long as it's vegan.

My first Banh Mi was at The Hard Times.  It was filled greasy fried seitan- in true Hard Times style.  The cilantro-jalapeno mayo was so good I wished for more to dip my tortilla chips in!

The first Banh Mi I ate today was at work.  Our juice bar has monthly specials on panini sandwiches and this month's vegetarian sandwich is a vegan Banh Mi!  The tofu is slathered in peanut sauce and topped with shredded carrot and cilantro.  The whole sandwich is smashed in the panini grill until the bread is hot and crusty.  I was super impressed at how spicy the sandwich was- we usually err on the side of mild.  My only complaint about the sandwich is that it was missing the mayo/Veganaise that I so enjoy.

So after a crazy busy day at work filled with point of sale system failures, inventory report difficulties, and new-month-updates that had to get done...I needed ANOTHER Banh Mi.  This time, though, I wanted to make one myself.  

I couldn't decide if I wanted to use seitan or portobello mushrooms in my sandwich, so I used both!  


First step: Marinate the "meat" of the sandwich
2 portobello mushrooms, sliced 1/4 inch thick
OR 1 lb. seitan, sliced 1/4 inch thick
2 Tbsp. tamari
2 Tbsp. rice vinegar
1 jalapeno, minced

Second Step: Prepare the veggies
1 carrot, julienned
1 daikon radish (carrot-sized), julienned
1/4 cup very thinly sliced cabbage
1 cup cilantro, roughly chopped
1 jalapeno, minced
2-3 green onions, sliced
4-5 mint leaves, minced
3-4 Tbsp. rice vinegar 

Third Step: Prepare the mayo
1/4 cup Veganaise
1/2 jalapeno, minced
2 Tbsp. cilantro, minced

Fourth Step: Cook 
Heat about 2-3 Tbsp canola oil in a skillet.  Strain off the marinade and add the seitan or portabellos to the pan and fry until browned.  

Fifth Step: Assemble
Slice a 1/2 of a baguette lengthwise
Toast baguette
Slather the inside of the baguette with mayo
Top with seitan or mushrooms
Top with veggies
Smash the sandwich together
Wrap in waxed paper so it doesn't spill all over you while you eat


Seitan Banh Mi
Portabello Banh Mi
While both the seitan and mushroom versions were great, I thought the portabellos held the marinade flavor better.  Next time I'll increase the spice a bit and rig up a panini press with some bricks.  

Need a gluten-free option?  
Just skip the bread and make a Portabello Banh Mi Salad!  
Thinly slice 1 cup of cabbage along with the veggies described above.  Serve veggies and fried portabellos over the cabbage.  Thin the Cilantro-Jalapeno Mayo with a bit of wheat-free tamari marinade left over from the portabellos.  This is your dressing.  
While the sandwich version is really awesome, this is a super way to get a lot of antioxidant rich raw cabbage in your diet.  So even if you're not gluten-free, you might want to give it a go!



Thursday, August 14, 2008

Interesting meals, Interesting night

Last night I couldn't resist buying some MN lobster mushrooms. Just look at them.

They're bright, richly flavored, and hearty mushrooms. I just had to get some...but I had no clue what I would cook with them.

But I did have 3 turnips I needed to use. So I started making some turnip soup and sauteeing the mushrooms in Earth Balance. Both the mushrooms and the soup were good on their own- But when I combined them, they were great.

Turnip and Lobster Mushroom Soup

1 Tbsp. Earth Balance
3 medium turnips, peeled and sliced thinly
4 cloves of garlic, minced (yeah, this is garlicky)
1 no-salt vegan bouillon cube
4-6 drops liquid smoke
4 cups water
1 tsp. fresh thyme
2 sage leaves, minced
Salt and pepper to taste
2 Tbsp. Earth Balance
3 lobster mushrooms, cleaned and thinly sliced

Heat 1 Tbsp. Earth Balance in a soup pot over medium-high heat until melted. Add garlic and turnips and stir to coat them with the Earth Balance. Then add the bouillon, liquid smoke, water, thyme, and sage. Simmer for about 20 minutes or until turnips are very tender and falling apart. Meanwhile, prepare the mushrooms. Heat 2 Tbsp. Earth Balance in a small skillet over medium heat. Add the slices of mushrooms and a sprinkle of salt. Allow the mushrooms to sit and sweat out their liquid before stirring. It may take about 5 minutes. Stir the mushrooms and allow the liquid to evaporate. Then taste the mushrooms to make sure they are tender. Add mushrooms to the soup and then taste. Add salt and pepper until seasoned.

Tonight I was working late because we had our "Surviving the Eat Local America Challenge" class. The class was a lot of fun, but I was so busy talking about local foods that I didn't plan my dinner.

So I relied on some homemade ravioli I had frozen last month and made it interesting by blanching some multicolored greens beans in the pasta water. The sauce was just melted Earth Balance, 1/2 clove of raw grated garlic, and toasted sunflower seeds. YUM! I know sunflower seeds might seem more suited to granola rather than ravioli, but they were super good. The ravioli filling contains sunflower seeds and they really complimented the green beans.



After eating some dinner and watching a little Law and Order, Mike and I noticed a gas smell. It seemed to be coming from our gas meter outside- uh oh!

So we called our gas company and they sent someone right out. Now they'll be sending a crew to dig up our meter and re-weld together some pipes at midnight. At least the leak isn't as bad as she thought it could be. At first she said we might have to take down our fence so they could get a back-hoe into the yard. Yikes!

Now how am I going to stay awake...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Why I'm not very cool

Where do I like to spend a hot Saturday night? In the kitchen, of course.
How ironic that canning or preserving needs to take place during the hottest summer months, when the garden is overflowing with food. This task, while enjoyable, heats my kitchen far beyond lasagna-baking or soup simmering temperatures. It is nearly unbearable.

So today, while making mulberry jam and jalapeño jam (that's two kinds, not mulberry-jalapeño...although that might be good), I took breaks in the kiddie pool in the backyard and sipped ice water.

And then, after heating up the kitchen to unbearable levels, I figured, "Hey, why not make some pasta?" My fellow Eat Local Challenge participants and I have lamented over the lack of very local pasta here in MN. I rely on the Dakota Grower's pasta from North Dakota when I need a quick pasta fix, but there's nothing like homemade pasta.

Tonight I decided to make a tortelloni pasta with 1/2 my dough and some fettuccine with the other half.

The pasta itself is pretty darn local, with flour and water being 99% of the ingredients in this recipe. The filling is as follows:

Herbed Sunflower Seed Pasta Filling

1/2 cup raw sunflower seeds, toasted in a dry skillet (MN)
1/4 cup water (MN)
2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
10 stems from cremini mushrooms (WI)
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. fresh thyme (backyard)

After toasting the sunflower seeds until beginning to brown, add 1/4 cup of water and let them soak for about an hour. Go do some yoga in the meantime. Then whizz around the sunflower seeds, soaking water, and remaining ingredients in a food processor until finely minced, but not quite smooth. Use about 1/2 tsp. per 2" round of pasta dough. This would also be super good as a spread on crackers, inside a tortilla, or just off a spoon.


The sauce for this pasta is a white sauce made with Earth Balance, flour, Org. Valley soymilk (WI), salt, green onions (MN), cremini mushroom caps (WI), parsley (backyard) and blanched snap peas (backyard). I didn't measure anything for this recipe, sorry.

Even though it was 9pm before I got to eat dinner, it was damn good. And the best part is, I have fettuccine in the freezer for another day!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Grilling Time!

Tonight we celebrated Memorial day like most Americans- around the grill. I love grilling outside. Ever since I was a little girl, my dad has trained me to cook food properly on the grill. I remember feeling both terrified and thrilled when my dad would douse the charcoal in gasoline and throw in a match. WHoooosh! We would sit and talk or I would play until the flames died down. Then he'd grill some steaks (always marinated in teriyaki sauce) or maybe some red snapper.

Today I was kinda bummed out because we decided not to get the bright and shiny nice new (used) car that I LOVED. I know it was the right (read: frugal) decision, but I still stayed in my pajamas until noon and wallowed in my own pity. So the point of this is that I needed a good cooking assignment to cheer me up. Mike called to say he wanted to grill out and that was all the inspiration I needed.

Let's start with the veggies. I stuffed some button mushrooms with leftover Cashew Ricotta (from Veganomicon) and marinated some locally grown, organic asparagus in lemon juice, olive oil, coarsely ground salt and black pepper. These cooked up really fast on the grill and the mushrooms were the best. This is one case where I was thankful that the kids won't touch any type of fungus. More for us!


I wanted hotdogs, but didn't want to go to the store (although I ended up going anyways to get a great vacuum cleaner that Mike dumpstered at the Co-op), so I made some. These are loosely based on the Spicy Italian Sausages, but I cut the recipe in 1/4 and added a cup of mashed lima beans, omitted anything spicy, and added liquid smoke. They turned out a bit more moist and less dense- just what I was looking for! Since these have wheat, I marinated some tempeh in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, tamari, and maple syrup for Mike.

I also baked some Southern Style GF Cornbread to go with my meal and with everyone else's desserts. You see, the great rift between myself and Mike & the boys is how we like our cornbread. I like mine savory- preferably with jalapeños, but I'll settle for green chilies. They like theirs as dessert with maple syrup.

The real star of the dinner was the Rhubarb Lemonade- thanks to my awesome friend Sarah.
She sent me this recipe from Food Network Canada (along with a SIGNED copy of Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan) last year, but I had just used the last of my rhubarb when I got the recipe. Now that the rhubarb is back, this was first on my list! It's really as simple as 6 1/2 cups water, 3/4 cup sugar, and 4 1/2 cups chopped rhubarb boiled until the rhubarb is soft, then strained. Then you add the juice of 1 lemon and chill. The super cute idea that I didn't get a chance to do tonight is to skewer some blueberries and freeze them to use as a garnish/stir stick for the lemonade!

This drink has a really unique flavor that only rhubarb lemonade could have- it's delicious! I also made some plain rhubarb sugar syrup at the same time, so look for that coming up soon.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

100 Posts and some Dal Balls

So I missed celebrating my 100th blog post. This is the 102nd. So I'll celebrate that instead. Yay! 102 Posts! Who'da thought I'd end up sticking with this?

Sorry my last post was such a complaining-fest. And thanks for all the great comments- It's good to know I'm not along in this big world!

Today's featured dish is a bit odd...Perhaps because it was Mike's idea? Nevertheless, it was a great idea and once tweaked a bit, will be fantabulous. He cooked red lentils and polenta separately and then mixed them together with "chicken" broth powder and sage and some quinoa flakes to make little balls (dal balls). Then he baked them on a parchment lined baking sheet for about 30 minutes at 400 degrees. They ended up crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. We served them over rice with gravy on top. They were a great texture, but a little short on flavor.



The next night I cut the leftover (very solid) dal/polenta mixture into triangles and breaded them with a nutritional yeast, garlic, crushed rice crisp cereal mixture and greased a baking sheet up real good before baking them. These reminded me of fried cheese or fried chicken or something. Again, the flavor was not very strong, but the texture was awesome. We had these with beans and rice and coleslaw. I recommend wrapping it all up in a corn tortilla with some homemade salsa!

Tonight I tried to duplicate one of my favorite soups from the Seward Co-op. While I do all my grocery shopping at my co-op, I always check out the Seward when I venture over the great divide to Minneapolis. When I was in grad school at St. Kate's campus nearby, I had this knack for randomly going to the Seward on days when they were serving their Vegan Cashew Mushroom Soup. Like every time. It's pretty much the most rich, creamy, amazingly delicious mushroom soup you've ever had. In case you live nearby, they're serving it this Friday!

Anyways, since I hold this soup on a golden, diamond-studded pedestal, my version did not live up to its namesake. But it's still really good! I think the trick is to use an insane amount of cashews in a fancy Vita-Mix blender. Unfortunately, I don't have a blender like this and was too lazy to even try my food processor. So I used cashew butter because it was on sale last month.



Cream of Cashew and Mushroom Soup
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 yellow onion, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced or crushed
1 tsp. dried thyme
1/2 lb. white button mushrooms, cut into chunky slices
1 portabello mushroom, cut into bite-sized slices
4 cups of almond milk (or other non-dairy milk), unsweetened
1/2 cup raw cashew butter
ground black pepper and salt to taste

Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic and saute until lightly browned. Add thyme and mushroom and continue to cook for a couple of minutes, stirring frequently. Then add most of the almond milk, reserving about 3/4 cup. In a little bowl or jar, mix cashew butter with the reserved milk until smooth. I used a little whisk and it worked nicely. Then add to the soup. Add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer for about 30 minutes until soup has thickened a bit. Serve with more black pepper and some extra cashews on top!

Note: I know Rachel Ray and everyone else says that you shouldn't wash mushrooms or they'll absorb water and get tough. Yeah, yeah, just wipe them with a damp towel. I completely disregard these instructions anyways, but you certainly can for this because you're putting them in SOUP. That's liquid anyways, so a little water won't hurt anything and at least they won't have dirt on them.

For anyone that lives in the Twin Cities: I'm teaching a class on cooking leafy greens at Mississippi Market on Sunday March 16th and a class on using neti pots for relieving sinus congestion on March 19. Plus, in May we've got a couple more vegan cooking classes. Check out the website for details.

Monday, November 5, 2007

When the kids are away...Mushrooms come out to play

Last night I made a really awesome dinner that included mushrooms because the kids were at their mom's (mushrooms are their one hated food). I also needed good food to eat for lunch this week...So here's what I made:

Cream of Mushroom & Rutabaga Soup

1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 large red onion, diced
1 1/2 cups rutabaga, peeled and diced
1 large portabello mushroom, sliced
1 1/2 cups cremini mushrooms, sliced
1 can Great Northern beans, drained
4 cups broth (I used some expired un-chicken broth)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 Tbsp fresh sage, minced
2 Tbsp tamari or Bragg's
1/4 cup soy creamer

Heat the olive oil in a soup pot over medium low heat. Add the onions and cook slowly, allowing them to caramelize. Then add the rutabaga, beans, and broth and increase heat to medium high. Simmer until rutabagas are tender (I have no idea how long, I was busy doing other stuff). Mash or puree using an immersion blender. Then return to the stove and add everything except the soy creamer. When mushrooms have cooked down, add salt or whatever it needs until everything tastes awesome. Then remove from heat and stir in the soy creamer. This should make about 4 servings. We used it as gravy, too! (You know a soup is good when it can be used as gravy).

I also cooked the Herbed Scalloped Potatoes and Chickpea Cutlets (really great northern bean cutlets because I didn't have any chickpeas) from Veganomicon. Then I was inspired by the Lemony Green Beans from Eat, Drink and Be Vegan and made lemony kale and green beans. Everything tasted awesome for dinner and for lunch today. I hope that it will be just as delicious for lunch tomorrow.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pasta, Pizza, and Carmel-PB Apple Bars

Last night I really wanted something with mushrooms. I didn't really care what it was, it just needed to have lots of mushrooms. That's usually how I decide what to eat: I crave something intensely and then build a meal around it. (What's really weird is when I crave something I've never eaten before- and, no, I'm NOT pregnant).

I was going to make mushroom wild rice soup, but Mike prefers not to eat soup unless it's my seitan and dumplings, so I decided to make a mushroom pasta dish instead- An instant winner in Mike's eyes. I cooked some fusilli pasta (white pasta, even!). Then I sauteed portobello and button mushrooms with thyme and sage and set them aside. I made the sauce with a flour and Earth Balance roux and added almond milk, tamari, sage, thyme, salt/pepper, a bit of nutritional yeast, and a big blob of plain soy yogurt.


The sauce thickened up nicely and looked a lot like a stroganoff. Mixed with the pasta it was a perfect 11pm dinner!

Today is Sunday, so that's my day to really pull off a great dinner. We eat dinner together as a family several times a week, but Sunday I try to make something really special to look forward to. Unfortunately, I felt like crap all day and didn't think I'd have any energy to cook. But I got a great idea to use up last year's bumper crop of pesto (before we harvest this year's basil). I made two big batches of pizza dough and added 3 ice cube sized things of pesto to eat batch. The crust looked kinda green which might be a turn-off to some people, but it smelled and tasted great! It would be really nice for foccacia bread, too. The toppings were local red onions, martini olives, green peppers from the garden, homemade tempeh sausage, and an awesome quick "cheese" sauce modeled after the late great Spokes Pizza in Minneapolis.


This close up makes me want to go to the fridge right now and eat the leftovers! But I'll be happier if I wait and eat them for breakfast.After all the talk on the PPK about Isa's PB Caramel Apple Bars, I really wanted to try them. And when Mike walked in the door with 3 bags of free Granny Smiths, I knew this was my chance.

WOW! Even just the Caramel PB Sauce is enough to make this amazing, not to mention the crust, apples, and crumble topping.

Next time I'm going to try the topping and sauce on top of a thick apple pie, though. The toppings are a bit rich for such a thin bar... But maybe I'm just a wuss.